Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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