they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
