i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
