First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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