Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
