Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
