worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
