People in love make me want to vomit
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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