So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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