I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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