I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
