Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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