my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
