I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
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