You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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