Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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