I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
