I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
