sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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