Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
