Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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