I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
