Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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