they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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