thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Hippo gnu deer
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
