You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
