dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
