Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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