Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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