I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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