dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
