So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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