sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
