you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
