Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
