I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
