i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
