Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
