Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
