What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
