clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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