Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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