this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
This house was built for laser tag.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
