Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
