I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
