Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
