I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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