I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
