he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
