It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
