sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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