I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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