listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
