Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
